With everything prepped to her satisfaction, and just one hour after making her decision, Christen decided it was time to act. "I remember everything about those last moments," she says. "I picked up a little Christmas ornament in the shape of an angel to put in my hand. Then I went out onto the balcony and sat down with my gun, a .357 revolver I kept for protection, then said a quick prayer. And then I pulled the trigger…" To her surprise, the gun just clicked. There were five chambers, but she’d only loaded four bullets. "I basically won at Russian Roulette," she jokes. "I laughed. I thought, 'I can’t believe that after everything I’ve failed at, I failed at this too.'" Christen wondered if it was a sign that she shouldn’t go through with it, but
she stiffened her resolve and put the gun back up to her chin. This time when she pulled the trigger, it didn’t click. "The noise was so loud," she says, "and almost immediately I couldn’t see." However, unbeknownst to Christen, her roommate was asleep in the next room.