Reprimanding children is not only parents’ job

A lady reprimanded her sister-in-law’s son for some delinquent behavior. Her mother-in-law hauled her over the coals for this. This old lady was upset that her daughter-in-law took it upon herself to tick this boy off. This boy is literally brought up by this young lady. She cares for him like she does her own son. When she found all relatives making fun of this boy, she decided to correct him. He was listening to her, but the grandmother butted in and created a scene and made this lady feel out of place. The reason for the reprimand was forgotten. This boy was in need of correction, which no one was willing to take on. They all preferred to make fun of him and laugh at his expense. This hurt his aunt, so she decided to give him a piece of her mind. But it backfired on her badly. She feels burnt after the tongue-lashing she got and is very upset. Her other relatives asked her to lay off. Why bother about others? They asked her to limit herself to her son and her own family. Their argument is if his mother and grandmother are not bothered by his behavior, why should she bother? This lady finds it difficult to wash her hands off this boy. She has taken care of him since his childhood and wants him to have a bright future. Are her intentions wrong? Does this lady have a right to reprimand this boy? Especially as she is taking care of most of his needs, does she still have a right? Such incidents occur in most families African families. Extended families are supposed to only praise, compliment and provide for relatives’ children. If anyone decides to reprimand, he/she is treated as an outcast. There are many such good souls who feel bad when their nieces and nephews behave badly. When they see these children committing mistakes, they itch to correct them. But their good intentions are misinterpreted. Does this not lead to family units being separate? Where are the bonding and the close relationship that is supposed to be fostered among relatives? Many parents know their children are in the wrong, but they do not appreciate anyone else pointing this out, even if the person happens to be sibling or a close relative. Sometimes parents are blinded to their children’s fault. They may not see the wrong that is being done. Always a third person sees the right and wrong better. So if a person with good intentions points the children’s fault, why should parents mind? After all it is happening for the good of their child/children. This particular relative will be otherwise close to the nieces/nephews. He/she will make sure the kids are fine, entertain them, buy them goodies, soothe them in times of trouble, rush to their aid whenever it is required, but they are not allowed to reprimand. Till then they are considered family, but once the reprimand takes place, this relative finds him/herself out in the cold. It is as if they can only give, they have no rights over these children. This relative will be doing the dirty job quite willingly, even at the risk of the children getting angry with him/her. But they are made to realize the kids do not belong to them. So lay off, they are warned. Children should be shown the right way, the right behavior. How else will they learn? So what if someone other than the child/children’s parents do the teaching? Is it easy to turn a blind eye to the wrongs of children? Especially when a person loves kids, and wants them to grow up mature and confident? Hope parents do see reason and thank the others for the thankless job they perform.